COVID-19 Test Kit

Worried about whether or not you've been exposed to COVID-19? This handy testing device will confirm your diagnosis.

Here are the instructions for use:

1 Hold the testing device firmly with both hands
2 Cough directly on to the testing device
3 Speak clearly into the device and ask: "Am I infected with COVID-19?"
4 Allow the testing device to roll on to a flat surface
5 The uppermost face of the device will communicate your diagnosis
7 Pass the testing device on to a friend or loved one
6 Wash the device thoroughly
8 Kick yourself for doing step 7 before step 6 and infecting your friends and loved ones

You'll need to print 20 "Protein Receptors" and a total of 12 pentagonal text pieces. The pieces are all interchangeable, so you can customize your test kit however you like.

Basic "Yes," "No, and "Maybe" pieces are provided. You could print four of each or bias the odds towards the outcome you want.

There are 6 "Yes" and 6 "No" pieces with additional text as well. Print off whatever ones you want. Your options are:

YES...
That cruise was a bad idea
Go to hospital now
Go call your doctor
Go call in sick
Cancel that date
You’ll need toilet paper

NO...
Not yet
But don’t stop washing
It’s just a regular fever
Try again later
No time off work for you
So stop whining

The pieces with text need to be printed with a 0.4mm nozzle in order for the text to print properly. A 0.8mm nozzle will work, but not well. Glue the finished pieces together, attaching only triangles to pentagons (don't glue triangles to triangle or pentagons to pentagons). CA glue works best.

Please post suggestions for additional text pieces and I'll do my best to make and post.

Disclaimer: This test has not been approved by the World Health Organization. Be aware of COVID-19 scammers. Please send me $20 anyways.